when I think about the past happy matter,my heart just feel likes pulling the pain nerve.
I think I'm the weaker,not the time or others.
my emotions and feelings no more remained when the time passes through.

maybe this is "But I syndrome".
I know I should sleep,but I cannot sleep;
I know I should happy,but I still moody;
I know I should be friendly,but the 1st thing come to the mind is i'm not interested.

still not confident to myself,when facing the life still have many "not sure" and consideration.
choose not to think actually is "tao bi"
自命清高
really cannot imagine that people use this word on me now.
now i also confuse,maybe im just like what they said?

actually also realize many things i'm not really like it,
maybe just because i need following the flowing,or it benefit to me,
or it's necessary or what I should do.
just because of these reasons,I forced myself to like it,or get it.

the life is boring,
but I still feel that have something inside my heart it's excited.
actually what Im expect for?